Top 10 Things I Only Say to My kids

What do you say to your kids?

I’ve read a lot about what strange things come out of kids mouths. You know “out of the mouth of babes” stuff. But have you ever listened to yourself talking to your kids? I started to keep a list of stuff I say to them that I would never say to another person. Ever. Maybe you have a few of your own. Feel free to add some here.

Okay here are mine.

Please don’t lick the table.
Don’t eat your boogers.
Let me check your bottom.
It’s okay to play with yourself, but just do it in private, and certainly not around your grandparents.
If you say vagina or poop one more time, I will scream.
Yes, I think the tooth fairy and santa actually know one another.
Is that you I smell?
Where did you get those underwear?
No, the Easter bunny does not smell like a dog.
I know you like to be naked, but please keep your clothes on.

3 thoughts on “Top 10 Things I Only Say to My kids

  1. Nicole Oechslin says:

    1. Please don’t hurt Mommy.
    2. I’m always going to love you, even when you hit your sister in the head that hard.
    3. No you may not leave the table until you eat a bit more. A bit more is a few more bites. A few is at least three.

  2. molliebryan says:

    Hilarious! You know, before I had kids I would have thought that having a cookie in the bathroom while someone was peeing was absurd–but now, (sorry to say) I completey understand!
    Thanks to both of you for posting!

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