Five things I thought about during my morning run:

1. Sweat pouring. Heart racing. Life is good.
2. Summer Solstice. Already.
3. I've been thinking about an old friend that killed himself when we
were teenagers. I think of Lance often. In a way, he's informed many of
my relationships. If I love you, you know it. I don't play games. I had
nothing to do with Lance's problems–it took me awhile to believe that.
But after his death, I saw some things very clearly and I try to hold on
to that every day.
4. It occurs to me when I'm doing simple things, like running, or laying
in bed listening to the rain pouring: wishing Lance could have held on.
How could he know at such a young age what life was about? I could
never have imagined…my life now.
5. I don't dwell on those dark thoughts. I try to acknowledge them and
move on. But sometimes they creep up on me.

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